A text message is one of the most powerful tools of communication. When used correctly, it can help you win back your ex-girlfriend. However, if used the wrong way, then you may end up losing them altogether and forever.
If your ex-girlfriend all of a sudden receives a call from you, she will probably think that you want something from her and might not even give you the chance to express yourself. If you use an email, then the chances of her responding and the two of you having a conversation are almost zero. It also makes it look like you don’t want to have a conversion with her.
However, with a text message, you get the right amount of vagueness that leaves a doubt in her mind wondering what you are up to. With this curiosity, you can attract her again and establish some trust. But, you can’t text her anything and at whichever time and expect her to get attracted to you. You need to add a bit of magic to your texting.
Don’t text her immediately
After a breakup, don’t rush to text your ex-girlfriend asking her to get back with you. This will make you sound very needy and desperate. There’s that period after the breakup called the “No contact period.” This usually lasts for about 30 days and you aren’t supposed to contact your ex in any way. During this period, give her space and take the opportunity to heal over the breakup regardless of who ended things.
Avoid begging or pleading
As a man, one of the biggest turnoffs for a woman is if you start pleading and begging her. You won’t win your woman back by begging or pleading on a text. It will even make you look worse and desperate. When you text her, show her that you are strong and with or without her, you can still carry on with life.
Unleash that sense of humor in you
You have spent some time with your ex before and know what she likes and what kind of jokes she would appreciate. Cracking jokes via text is one of the easiest icebreakers when chatting with your ex that you want back. This will not only make her laugh but it will also make her feel some attraction. When she is laughing or smiling, it’s difficult to hold those negative thoughts and feeling about you setting up the ground for a deeper conversation and rekindling of the lost flame. For example, if you write a text message saying, ‘Hi, I was just saying hi, are you OK?’, she will probably respond with ‘i’m fine, thanks.’ This locks you out of carrying on with the conversation since your question and tone sounded serious.
The next time you text her and she sees your caller ID, she won’t be looking forward to responding immediately and will keep doing what she is doing instead. Use humor to initiate a conversation with boldness.
Keep the texts brief and to the point
Don’t send her a long and wordy text with an apology over and over and ranting about how your feelings are hurt. Keep her engaged and looking forward to your reply. Women get turned off and bored if you use a text message to communicate all your feelings to her. It simply shows that you can control your emotions and handle the situation in the right way. Just apologize once then change and restore your emotions for her.
Despite being around for decades, a text message can impact a conversation and relationship in both positive and negative ways. So, to avoid making it even worse, keep your texts short and to the point with the ultimate goal being a phone call and getting back physically.
A miscommunication can happen without you intending especially when you are making a joke or using sarcasm. It’s good to avoid using such unless you are sure that your ex will get it. However, in case of a miscommunication, best clear it rather than waiting for your ex-girlfriend to figure it out
Display your changes
No matter how tempting it may be to send your ex a text expressing how a changed man you are, it’s not recommended. Actions speak louder than words, show her instead. Don’t tell her how much you have changed or that you will change. Show her the changes in how you communicate at least until when you get to meet in person. For example, if she texts you ‘I don’t have feelings for you anymore.’ Your appropriate answer will be something like ‘I know, I was the immature one in the relationship and I don’t blame you for feeling that way.’ This shows her that you have become mature and without sounding needy have accepted her decision. She then feels some respect for you that may lead to attraction.
Her guard is lowered when you trigger her feeling of respect and attraction to the new you and she begins to reconnect with her original feelings for you.
How often should I text my ex-girlfriend?
Ideally, the two of you should text daily. Depending on how you left things and how you have picked them up decides the frequency during the day. For a start, take it slow to avoid sounding needy. If you start texting her every morning and evening, it then becomes a routine and she may end up putting her defenses up.
Start with a single text, and very slowly increase the frequency depending on her reaction, and in no time you will be having the same old conversations without her noticing. It will feel so natural to them and the connection will be rebuilt.